Defence mechanisms

Protecting our ‘self’ from perceived threats by using all sorts of ingenious psychological methods is something that we all do at different moments in our life. Often, we do not know we are using defence mechanisms at the time – which just goes to show how devious and how instinctive these functions of our brain can be.

Please view the examples below with a neutral, self-detective eye, rather than a harsh, judgmental one.

Forgetting (repression): If an event or a time in your life is painful, one of the easiest ways to deal with it is to forget that it ever happened.

It didn’t happen (denial): If ‘it’ (whatever it may be) didn’t happen, then there’s no need to be distressed about it.

It wasn’t me – it was you (projection): Here is a great opportunity to blame another for what happened, to put all the dislike about yourself onto someone else.

I can’t express how I feel to the person I want to, so I’ll take it out on someone else instead (displacement): This is about dumping or off-loading on people who have nothing to do with the cause of your upset/pain/anger, etc.

Making unacceptable behaviour acceptable (sublimation): If I can channel my dark side into something that’s deemed acceptable by my partner/friends/family/community/society, then I can maintain my status as well as my relationships (as opposed to ending up in prison or being isolated/alienated).

Mimicking aspects of others (introjection): In times of distress or threat, it might be the best option to behave like someone else, e.g., if I shape my hair to look like Ingrid Bergman, I’ll have all the confidence and sassiness that she has.

Removing the emotion from a memory (isolation): This allows you think about an otherwise painful or upsetting episode without feeling it, just as though you were merely reporting the events.

Going back in time (regression): If the pressure to be a certain age is too much for you, going back to a younger age might help reduce the stress.

Day-dreaming (fantasising): Having fantasies, especially about the things that ‘could have been’ in your life, are a way of dealing with disappointments or of ending things that didn’t have an ending. This is a great way to re-write your history.

Going into your head rather than your heart (intellectualising): If you’re emotionally hurting, you might want to think away what is causing the pain by giving yourself a rational explanation for it: “It’s just heartburn. It will soon go away.”

Do any of these jump out at you in particular?

[Developed by Sigmund Freud and Anna Freud]