Wellness Calendar: Friday 4 April

I-it vs I-thou
In an attempt to make sense of our relationships, 18th century philosopher Martin Buber split our experiences with others into two camps. He called them “I-It” & “I-Thou”.
In an I-It relationship, there’s a distance between two people: they are separate from one another. In an I-It relationship, there’s little engagement between the two parties, and little investment of energy in each other. Neither side wish to reveal much of themselves, so there is little to bond them together.
An I-It relationship can be merely a functional, transactional meeting, based on money, a need or a duty. An I-it relationship can come about when one or both parties see the other as nothing more than an object. An I-It relationship has no channels in which the parties can come together; they’re either blocked or were never opened up. Unsurprisingly, an I-It relationship is meaningless – it barely even qualifies as a relationship. It’s largely about people sharing the same space, and little else.
Whereas…
In an I-Thou relationship, there’s a connection between the parties, where the two people engage with and truly encounter one another. An I-Thou relationship contains meaning and meaningfulness; there’s openness and trust. In an I-Thou relationship, you can be authentic; there’s no need to pretend.
Would it be useful to go through the relationships in your life, and see how many of them are I-It and how many are I-Thou?
If you’re not happy with the balance of I-It and It-Thou relationships in your life, could you strive to improve the relationships that you have, or find new people with whom you can form strong connections with?
Buber believed that most societies are set up as I-It, and that the disconnection between institutions and citizens has an alienating effect on individuals. What do you think?