The self detective map of change

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Process of Change
Part 6 - The self detective map of change

The self detective map of change (see below) is a visual frame (or guide or structure) that may be useful for you to (i) plot where you are on your journey of change, (ii) highlight where you want to be, as well as (iii) explore how you might get there.

The map is based on the collective experience of many people who have entered counselling looking for change. However, if the model doesn’t quite work for you, perhaps you can adapt or modify it to suit your own circumstances.

In this section, alongside the map, there is also a description of each stage of the map, examples of what may be found in each of the stages, and a space for you to include your own entries. Finally, there are questions to ask yourself at each of the stages.

Hopefully all the work that you have put in prior to this can help you to complement this particular project.

Different stages of the Self Detective map of change

1. Thriving: We reach out to things that give us pleasure. We don’t press the self-destruct button on purpose. We are always doing the best we can for ourselves in any given situation.

2. When the bombs of distress fall on us, we immediately turn our attention to protecting ourselves.

3. We learn to cope, getting by from day to day. We are now surviving rather than thriving. Sometimes the coping strategies we choose can have side effects (such as depression or anxiety), and sometimes they can create problems of their own (i.e. excessive alcohol consumption).

4. Un-wellness: Sometimes we can slip further into despair and hopelessness and are unable to cope. Often, we find a way to cope again. This can then end up as a cycle of coping, not-coping, coping, not-coping.

5. Some of us become so tired and frustrated at merely surviving that we reach a tipping point, where we say ‘enough is enough.’ The fear of more pain and hurt is outweighed by the hope of a better life. To help us search for a higher standard of life, we may reach out to others and start to tell our story. We may start to invest more time in ourselves and embark on a journey of discovery.

6. Inevitably, our quest for well-being will come up against hurdles, set-backs and blind alleys. Some people give up at this stage, or choose to return at a later time, while others find ways to navigate through the hurdles.

7. Those that manage to overcome hurdles are rewarded with improved well-being.

8. We finally reach the land of wellness. We are thriving once more. We appreciate how much effort it has taken and how much investment in ourselves is required in order to have a good quality of life. Sometimes we still have dips and dark days, but on the whole we are strong and unlikely to forget how important it is to be emotionally and psychologically healthy.

Examples of thriving

My thriving

Print off sheet

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This interactive workbook and many more are avaliable free at My Self Detective: