To be of use vs. to be a burden

In 1997 the following lyrics appeared in a song by a band called Smog:

“Most of my fantasies are of – to be of use. To be of some hard, simple, undeniable use. Oh, like a spindle. Or oh, like a candle. Or oh, like a horseshoe. Or oh, like a corkscrew.”

As sociable creatures, many people feel the same way as the lyricist. We enjoy being of use. We get a lot of pleasure from helping others. Yet sadly, many people are unable to receive the help that’s on offer, as they don’t wish to be a burden to anyone, they don’t want to bother or trouble anyone, and they don’t want to put anyone out.

Where might we draw a line between the wellness we get from being independent and self-sufficient and the un-wellness we get from an isolation born of stubbornness or feelings of unworthiness?

In Japan there’s a word – amae – expressing the joy of momentarily putting your life in the hands of someone else. What do we have in the West?

A joker in a pack of playing cards can be whatever you want it to be: it’s a card unlike any other. Imagine if each of us had a joker card up our sleeves, so to speak, that we could use as a call for help, when we experience tough times in our lives, times unlike any other. “I need to cash in my joker card.”

Everyone needs help at some point in their lives. Even rescuers need rescuing at some point or another.

Do you find it easy to ask for or to offer support to people in your community?