Calendar: Monday 27 March 2023

Harmonising your self

There are many ways in which you can fall out with yourself or give yourself a hard time. Here are some examples of how conflicts can occur:
• One part of you is unable to live up to the expectations set by another part
• You are torn in two about something and the longer you remain undecided, the more maddening it gets
• One part of your cannot forgive the rest of the self for having failed, while another part is angry at the unforgiving self and doesn’t think that failing is the end of the world
• One side of you keeps doing something which, later, another part is going to be ashamed of or feel guilty about.
• You are split in two over a moral dilemma
• One side of you really wants to go out for the night, but another part can’t be bothered
• Your ‘actions’ are complicated by your ‘thoughts’ being at odds with your ‘feelings’ (or whichever variable you may have between these three parts of you)

Just as there are ways to split and divide yourself, there are also ways in which you can come together – as one. See the examples below:

• Spend time detecting what is going on within you
• Agreeing to disagree
• Unifying yourself through a shared belief, a shared activity or a shared treat
• Learn to forgive yourself, unconditionally
• Making sure all your needs are being met
• Regularly checking in on yourself (to find out if the different parts to you are okay)
• Take time to listen to the parts of you that are angry or upset
• Develop a part of yourself (a self-detective, perhaps) that is completely neutral, that can broker deals and can act as a peacemaker, a mediator.
• Develop self-care and self-love
• Learn to balance and juggle and negotiate with yourself
• Give yourself permission not to give yourself a hard time
• Trust your selves; give them a bit of slack
• Use a sprinkling of humour, as and when required

What are your main internal conflicts? How might you overcome them?