Wellness Calendar: Thursday 25 December

The twenty-fifth revolution


[Interaction as intervention; mental health crisis; using person-centred attributes for the benefit of our communities; giving back; the role of a facilitator; good-enough facilitation; benefits of group support]

“Every interaction can be an intervention” is a quote from Dr Karen Treisman. It suggests that anyone, at any time, can do something positive to affect the life of another person, however big or small. It could be the way in which you welcome someone into a room, your tone of voice, your gestures, your body language, your friendliness and your ability to make someone feel safe in your company. Or, if you are in need of receiving it, it could be the other way round.

Everything goes into the mix when it comes to the interpersonal – there is no neutral space; everything is political. You have the power to be a force for good in someone’s life, no matter how fleeting the interaction might be, just as you can be the final nail in the coffin if you dump your baggage onto someone who’s having a rough time.

In a parallel universe, being in possession of empathy, authenticity and unconditional positive regard would be the most sought-after attributes of all. While it may not have much currency within our current society, if you were invested in your community and wanted to make a difference, please consider the following as another possible revolution…

A mental health crisis exists when relied-upon specialist services cannot meet demand. If you’re lucky enough to receive support in a timely fashion, you’re in the minority. The vast majority of people are either waiting for support or receiving none. And we know that people deteriorate when they’re not getting some kind of help to hold and contain their pain.

So, collectively, what do we do? Do we ignore this problem? Or, if we are in a position of being safe and stable, can we possibly step up to the challenge by devoting, say, a few hours a week to facilitating individuals or groups of people?

In a sociological study on happiness, it was found that those who gave something back to society were happier and more content than those who did not. Giving back can take many forms. Giving money to a cause is one thing; investing time to raise money through an activity is another. Yet both of these actions are at arm’s length from where their benefits are actually happening. There’s no real connection between you and those you wish to help.

The definition of the term facilitator, generally speaking, is someone who makes things happen; someone who helps people to achieve their aims – individually, collectively, or both. In the field of psychology, a facilitator assists people who would like to improve the quality of their lives. This includes people who wish to avoid becoming distressed, as well as people who are already in distress.

Facilitation is about being at the coal-face. It’s about mucking in and having real experiences and connections with real people who in turn are having real experiences and connections with you. It’s about empowering people to stand on their own two feet. It’s about being a real social justice agitator (in your own lunch hour). It’s a role with a distinct absence of authority and expertness, and is all the better for this non-appearance.

In the 1970s, psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott coined the phrase ‘Good enough parents’: they didn’t need to be perfect, they just needed to be there, providing a safe and stable environment in which to nurture their children. Good-enough facilitators can provide the same nurturing environment for those who need it – without having to be experts, without having to be perfect, without having to be authoritarian and controlling.

“A power greater than ourselves” is a phrase drawn from Alcoholic Anonymous meeting group culture. If anyone is out of control through their addiction, each collective group can help each individual by acting as a containing power ‘higher’ or ‘greater’ than that of their addiction. In this way, vast numbers of people have been able to maintain a drink-free life.

The same might be said of all group-work dynamics. The power of connecting with people can help individuals in all sorts of ways, not just with addictions. A power greater than ourselves = The power of connectivity = The power of healing.

Similarly, where do people tend to go when they want help with their suicidal ideation? They reach out to others: to the Samaritans, to a crisis team, to a person who has some humanity. Not to be told what to do, but simply to have a connection in their time of need. To be more than just themselves.

Irvin Yalom devoted a lot of his career in psychology to studying and practising group work. He came up with 11 things that can happen when people come together under the same roof.

Gaining hope. Recognising that you’re not alone. Receiving insights and information. A chance to help others and be of use. Gaining focus on the way you relate to significant people in your life. Aiding your social skills. Helping participants model the good bits of other participants. Allowing you to use other people to work out who you are and what’s important to you. The opportunity to work well as a unit. Helping you let go of stuff. Allowing you to talk at a deeper level than usual.

What do you think? How invested are you in the well-being of your community? Enough to step up and help?

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