Wellness Calendar: Sunday 9 March

My parent, adult and child self
(As devised by the physiatrist, Eric Berne.)
Imagine that we want an ice cream. The part of us that wants the ice cream is the child side. “I want an ice cream! I want an ice cream!”, it tells the other two sides. “Okay,” says the adult part. “Do you know where to go and do you have enough money to pay for it?” At which point the parent part of us steps in: “Didn’t you have an ice cream yesterday? Don’t you know they are not good for you?”
In this scenario if you were to listen to just the child’s side, you would likely be eating the ice cream by now. If you were listening to the parent’s side, you would be unlikely to get an ice cream, and as for the adult: this part seems to mediate between the other two sides.
To expand a little further:
The parent part of us is the side that mimics our own parents, and the descriptions you may give this part depend on what sort of parenting you had: e.g. critical or nurturing, controlling or supportive, blaming or wise, insensitive or responsible.
The adult side is a rational and reasonable kind of self. It doesn’t take what the other parts say to heart and is generally keen to talk to other people on the same adult level as itself.
The child element is curious and full of energy and play, with lots of needs and wants. The kind of childhood you had will determine how secure it is, how trusting of others it is, whether it’s argumentative and rebellious or whether it’s well-adjusted and creative.
If you were to divide yourself up into these three circles – (P)(A)(C) – how big would you say each of them would be in relation to each other? Are you happy with this arrangement or would you like to change the size of them?