The Self
Part 22 - Shutting down your inner self

When things get too much for some people, they switch off in order to protect themselves. This could happen consciously or unconsciously. It could be that they learn to zone out, or it could be that they dissociate from their inner self (some people have experiences of being outside of their own body). It could be that they forget what they don’t want to remember.

You might have done this yourself in the past – you might be doing it right now, or do so in the future. Shutting down can happen at any moment in time or it can be a process that takes place over a number of years.

Which parts of us we switch off will depend on which parts of us are causing us distress, but it will also depend on how we go about it. Shutting down is not a precise art. It is more likely to be a scatter bomb effect, or akin to cracking a nut with a sledgehammer.

For example, if our emotions are too painful and overwhelming to deal with, we might suppress them by shutting them away deep inside us, or we might drink or take drugs to avoid them. By shutting down our distressing emotions, it is likely that we will have closed off access to most – if not all – of our emotions, including the pleasant ones. The knock-on effect of pulling the plug on our emotions might be a general dulling of the senses, which may in turn reduce our energy, reduce our motivation and slow down our thought processes. All of which could make us…

	…Feel like a zombie.
	Feel robotic.
	Feel empty, depressed and depersonalised.

Or what Pink Floyd described as Comfortably Numb.

Similarly, our behaviour can change when we shut down. We can start to isolate ourselves, or we start to avoid risks, and we can become more anxious and fearful.

Some people who have experienced the effects of shutting down say it is like being trapped in a spider’s web.

Other people have likened the sensation to being cocooned inside a shell.

Or being blocked from moving forward.

The good news is that while the off switch can be really important and vital to some people at certain times, when it starts to become a problem there are ways in which you can switch yourself back on again (or use a dimmer).

Many of the solutions are to undo what you did to shut yourself down in the first place.

So, for example:

If you became isolated, make steps to engage with others.

If you switched off your emotions, re-engage with your feelings slowly: by playing music, or looking at photographs, or talking to someone who you trust.

If you have become robotic or zombified, do things that make you feel alive and real and energised.

While you are doing SD work on yourself, it may be useful to know that if things ever went seriously wrong in your life, there is always the option of a re-set button.

(De-constructing & re-constructing yourself)

[The joker is a wild card. It can be whatever it wants to be.]

There is one thing we are all capable of doing, no matter how limited our choices may seem: we can always start again. We can stop being who we were and start being someone else, someone we want to be. We can always re-invent ourselves. We can always re-frame ourselves. We can move away from the things that cause us distress: whether it be people, places or values and beliefs. We can untangle knots and liberate ourselves. We can overcome fears. We can strive for freedom. We can let go. We can end one thing and start another. We can create new memories, new friendships, new foundations. We don’t need to put up with what we’ve got now. We do not need to accept something just because it’s in front of us.

We have the power to change, and we don’t necessarily need anyone else to help us (although reaching out to others can be just what we need).