Shoulds, musts, oughts

Shoulds, musts and oughts, are often a part of people’s everyday spoken language.

‘You should just do what he asks. It’s easier that way.’
‘You shouldn’t go to the party like that – you look a state.’
‘You must drink your tea before it gets cold.’
‘You mustn’t speak ill of the dead.’
‘You ought to think about his feelings, too.’
‘You oughtn’t worry about her, she’s a waste of space.’

Should we?! Must we?! Ought we?! Really?! Says who?! The all-knowing all-seeing universal oracle? No, these are mere opinions from mere mortals. And why are they so keen to give us their opinion? Presumably they have a misguided belief that they are right, or they know best.

Right here, right now we all have an opportunity to clock and block these words whenever we hear them or whenever they pop up in our own heads. Instead we could look for a softer language so as not to be so rigid, such as would, could, might. Or we could initiate a conversation with someone, where ideas are shared? Or, unless an opinion is being sought, we could just button it.