Introduction

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The Self

Introduction

Welcome back to some more self-detective work. This time we are looking at the self: what makes us who we are, our beliefs and values, different ways of seeing ourselves, our true and false selves, our senses and our habits. We will ask such questions as: How did we come to be ourselves? What is our ideal self? Can we change?, and many more besides.

If you had a chance to work through ‘Starting Up Your Own SD Agency’, we hope that some of the tools, frameworks and goals will complement the insights and exercises here.

What do we mean by the word ‘self’?

Here are some definitions:
“The essential being that separates you from others.”
“The nature of yourself.”
“The qualities that make you unique.”

When you think about yourself, what immediately springs to mind? What defines you as a unique individual? At what point might you stop becoming a ‘self’ – and start becoming something else? Say, a couple, a part of a family, a group, a member of a community? Or are you still yourself while being something else as well?

It’s widely believed that in the Western world the needs of the self are placed ahead of the needs of the group, whereas in the East the emphasis is on being part of a community or a collective. Is it possible for individualism and collectivism to coexist?

In Buddhist circles, there is a concept of no-self, which states that a self is nothing more than an illusion, and that nothing within us is permanent. Instead there is an idea of fluidity, of constant change. Whereas in psychological circles, there’s a sense of us having more than one self, with sub-personalities or configurations of self.

The nature vs nurture debate questions whether we are a product of our life experiences, or whether we are biologically programmed and genetically mapped out. Would it be too simple to say we are a bit of both? That our quirky individual traits are merely down to gene mutations and the environment in which we grow up?

Who am I?

‘I use this word “I” and I don't know what it means. I don't know where it begins and ends. I don't even know what it's made of.’

Scarlett Thomas, The End of Mr Y

“My usual self is a very unusual self.”

Shelagh Delaney, A Taste of Honey

“Where some people have a self, most people have a void, because they are too busy in wasting their vital creative energy to project themselves as this or that.”

Bruce Lee

“How can anyone know me when I don’t even know myself?”

The The, Lyrics from Giant

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