Process of Change
Part 2 - Hope vs hopelessness vs fear

Do these three words hold any interest for you in relation to change?

If there was a line drawn between them, could you put an x on where you are right now – and then at any given time?

Could you experience all of them at the same time, or are they always poles apart from one another? Could you write down what each of them means to you? Is there somewhere in between these three states: something perhaps around merely existing or being safe or being in a comfort zone?

Hope is often symbolised by a white dove with an olive branch. Does this nail it for you? If not, how would you choose to represent your version of hope?

Can we accept that sometimes there is just no hope and there is no point in even thinking there is? And at other times it’s simply too painful to hope, in which case why not have a realistic dose of hopelessness? Then you can start to look at more hopeful avenues. Having said all that, what about our fears? Sometimes when fear comes into play it can add an entirely new dimension to hope and hopelessness.

Fear is a blocker, a killer of movement, a destroyer of progress, a huge hurdle to hope.

Fear is responsible for suppressing, stopping and/or denying thoughts, feelings and actions.

Fear can stop any meaningful personal development from ever taking place.

[And, yes, sometimes fear can save us from ourselves, but we are not talking about that right now.]

How much of our desire for change comes from i) wanting what is on the other side of fear or ii) simply wanting to slay the monster that is fear itself?

We now invite you to make a list of your hopes and fears. You can always add to them or change them at any point; this is just to get you to start exploring them.

I am hopeful that…

I am fearful that…

I am hopeful that…

I am fearful that…

I am hopeful that…

I am fearful that…

I am hopeful that…

I am fearful that…

I am hopeful that…

I am fearful that…

Was this useful in any way? If it was, keep hold of these hopes and fears. If not, move on.

As always at SD there is no pressure for you to do anything other than think and feel about these things. No one other than you knows about your unique set of circumstances. All we would say in summary is that if you have a small amount of hope that things might get better in your life, hold tightly onto it, for it could be the thread that pulls you out of your despair or pushes you away from adversity.

Sometimes, as a way of coming up with a decision, rather than going round and round in hellish circles of procrastination, you can look to understand:

(i) What is pushing you away from where you are?
(ii) What is pulling you towards something new?

Unhappiness. Lack of opportunities. Boredom. Hopelessness. Same old scene. Frustration. Limitations. A sense of failure. Threats. Reduced quality of life. Falling out of love.

Greater prospects. Happiness. A sense of hope. Endless possibilities. Safety. Better climate. Excitement. More wealth.

Q: What is pushing me?

Q: What is pulling me?