Coping Strategies
Part 14 - Wellness and forgiveness

Here are two very blunt questions for you to consider if you have ever been hurt, harmed or wronged.

Q: Can striving for justice (such as revenge, retribution, punishment, payback, retaliation) bring you wellness, or are they two different beasts altogether?

Similarly, if you have become a victim of someone or something...

Q: Can being in the state of victimhood give you wellness, or not?

The reason we ask these questions is that at Self Detective our only concern is your well-being and the well-being of others. If seeking justice or being in a passive victim-mode doesn’t help your well-being or gets in the way of your wellness, then perhaps it’s not the path to take.

Here is another couple of direct questions for you to ponder.

Q: If you have been hurt or harmed or wronged in any way, what are your options?
Q: If you have hurt or harmed or wronged someone else in any way, what are your options?

Might there be a choice to make between doing something about it and doing nothing? Might there be a decision to make as to whether you can move on from the pain/shame or whether you cannot? Which then might raise the question: Can I truly move on without some form of letting go, without some form of forgiveness, either to another or to myself (or both)?

In Polynesian culture, particularly in Hawaii, forgiveness and reconciliation are an important part of avoiding sickness. They have a word, Ho’o pono pono, which translates into English as: “To put to rights.” They also have the following mantra:

How much does guilt, shame and/or blame affect your life?

How much does anger, frustration, hatred and/or bitterness towards others affect your life?

Would you benefit from being able to let go of certain thoughts and feelings and to receive forgiveness from yourself?