Let us now focus our minds on how we can introduce a new coping strategy into our lives. For, while it may seem like a simple task, without the motivation and determination to keep it in mind/fit it into our routine/stick it in our to-do list, it is going to get forgotten about.

One way to remember the new coping strategy (CS) is to set about launching it. Have a date when you will use it or practise it. Give yourself a week’s run-up to the time and date.
E.g.:

Once the time has come and gone, you may wish also to rate how effective the CS was and whether or not any tweaks or adaptations need to be made.

Secondly, keep the strategy in mind by either putting the name or a drawing of it in your diary. You could put up a chart on the wall, or carry something around with you that will remind you what you are doing, such as wearing a wristband.

Thirdly, do you need to do anything in preparation of the CS, such as buying an item of clothing or rearranging your ongoing daily commitment?

Lesley likes the idea of so many of the coping strategies, yet he is also a realist and knows that when it comes down to it, he doesn’t have a lot of time or motivation in his life right now to fit many of them in. He decides to design a recovery bag over the course of the week, to do one short session of physical exercise a week, to eat one new piece of fruit/veg a week and to focus on a mantra that he can learn to repeat in his head over and over again.

Lesley wrote each one down like this one:

Coping strategy #1: Mantra	Details:
When	In the morning when I wake up. To and from work. Before I go to sleep.
Where	In bed. On the bus.
How	By repeating the same words over and over in my head for at least 3 minutes at a time.
With what	With my own personal mantra.
With whom	With myself.

You are encouraged to do the same, using the same template.

There is a real difference between thinking you will do something and actively planning for something – and then being held accountable to that plan by recording your results.

Coping activity	Day 1	Day 2	Day 3	Day 4	Day 5	Day 6	Day 7
Porridge in the morning	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓
Half an hour exercise	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓		✓
One hour exercise	✓		✓		✓
Abstinence from alcohol	✓	✓		✓	✓	✓
Communicate with another	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓
Ten minutes of calm	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓	✓
Computer off before 10pm	✓	✓			✓	✓

You will notice that this particular person has managed to do a lot of the activities that they set themselves, and rather than be dismayed by the times they didn’t get to achieve their aim, they are happy with their progress.

If a coping strategy is no longer as effective as it once was or if you now recognise that it isn’t healthy for you to continue with it, you may wish to find an alternative – something that is going to do the same job or a better job. As a straightforward exercise can you think of any possible replacements to any of your existing CSs?

Sometimes it can be relatively easy to swap one CS for another: you can simply plan for the swap-over date and away you go.

At other times you might need to give it some thought, especially if you have been using the old CS for quite a while. It is likely that a part of you will want to resist this change in some way – the part of you that perhaps doesn’t like change, or the part that has become addicted, or compelled, to keep the old CS going. In which case, it may be important to recognise this fact and find ways to avoid an internal conflict by:

(i) writing down or speaking aloud all the benefits that will go with making the change, as well as being realistic about what you will lose.

(ii) Introduce the new CS slowly, while also steadily withdrawing from the old one. This is known as tapering or a step-by-step approach or a cross-fade.

This approach, if appropriate, could be planned as below:

Or like this:

Print off sheet

It’s to be anticipated that some people will have relapses from time to time. This often happens at the early stages of abstinence, or introducing a coping strategy, or making a transition from one strategy to another.

There is a fine line between not beating yourself up about relapsing and being motivated enough about your well-being to be concerned by a lapse.

Knowing how devious, cunning and self-sabotaging our minds can be, just reading the information above will be enough for some crafty souls to think that they now have permission to fail or relapse whenever they want to.

So perhaps one of the secrets of maintaining coping strategies is to get to know yourself (and all the various parts of yourself), especially your destructive side, or the side that is willing to compromise your wellness for the sake of a short-term reward/fix.

Below is a classic internal monologue when it comes to abstinence:

“You are doing so well giving up cigarettes, I think you deserve a treat. How about a couple of puffs on a cigarette?”