Transference

Transference is the act of transferring your feelings and thoughts towards one person onto another. An illustration of this is to imagine that you’re projecting (like a movie projector) the attributes of someone (whether they be good, bad or a mixture) onto someone else, who as a result is not seen for who they really are.

This can happen anywhere, at any time: where the characteristics of heroes and villains, angels and devils can be attributed to a person without their having to do a single thing.

Transference can rear its head in all sorts of ways. If you were mistreated by a person of a certain age, a certain gender or a certain race, say, you may come to resent everyone with those same characteristics.

The opposite of this could also be true: if you were helped by someone, everyone who is like them could also be immediately deemed helpful and trustworthy in your mind.

Would it be a useful exercise to work out when you’re likely to be doing this and with whom? Then, when you encounter such a person you can try to see them for who they truly are – and save yourself from a messy relationship.