Wellness Calendar: Friday 19 September

The poisonous parrot
Why can’t we be nice to ourselves all of the time? Why do we put ourselves down, or beat ourselves up for not doing this or not doing that?
In 2009 (adapted from the writings of Kristina Ivings) Carol Vivyan came up with the image of a poisonous parrot to demonstrate how we have so much nasty internal chatter. Here’s what she had to say:
“Imagine you’re given a parrot. This parrot is just a parrot. It doesn't have any knowledge, wisdom or insight. It’s bird-brained, after all. It recites things parrot-fashion, without any understanding or comprehension. It’s a parrot.
However, this particular parrot is a poisoned and poisonous parrot. It’s been specifically trained to be unhelpful to you, continuously commenting on you and your life, in a way that constantly puts you down, criticising you.
For example, the bus gets stuck in a traffic jam, and you arrive at school five minutes late. The parrot sits there saying, “There you go again. Late. You just can’t manage to get there on time, can you? So stupid. If you’d left the house and got the earlier bus, you’d have arrived with loads of time to spare and you would be happy. But you? No way. Just can’t do it. Useless. Waste of space. Absolutely pathetic!”
How long would you put up with this abuse before throwing a towel over the cage or getting rid of the parrot? We can often put up with the thoughts from this internal bully for far too long.
We can learn to use the antidote: notice that ‘parrot’… and cover the cage. “There's that parrot again. I don't have to listen to it” – and go and do something else. Put your focus of attention elsewhere. Be persistent in your practice! Eventually this poisoned parrot will tire of the towel, tire of you not responding. You’ll notice it less and less. It might just give up its poison as your antidote overcomes it, or perhaps fly off to wherever poisoned parrots go.”
Do you have a poisonous parrot? If you do, what nasty comments does it say about you?
What would you like to do to your poisonous parrot?