Learning to take nothing personally

Taking things to heart may be a clue as to our own levels of self-esteem. If we have a healthy dose of self-respect, hurtful comments may well bounce off us, whereas if we struggle with self-worth, we might be vulnerable to put-downs.

Sometimes people can be confident about themselves in some areas while being sensitive to criticism in others. What is your Achilles heel? How likely are you to be offended by someone criticising the colour of your eyes? What about your taste in music? The size or shape of your body? Your beliefs? Your work? Your dancing? Your politics?

The writer Don Miguel Ruiz wrote this on the subject: “Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

This is an interesting approach on the subject. It suggests that each of us has the ultimate control over whether or not we are wounded by others. If hurtful words are daggers, it is our own self who will ultimately plunge the blade into our weak spots. As Eleanor Roosevelt noted: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Could we take the time to explore and heal our own sensitive parts? Not only to become impervious to people lashing out (due to their own insecurities), but to become whole and liberated.

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally,” Ruiz added. Might this be something to aspire to?