Wellness Calendar: Thursday 10 April

Boundaries
Boundaries: a way of defining a line between one thing and another, for example what behaviour is acceptable and what is unacceptable.
Ruptures in relationships can blow a person’s boundaries sky-high. What once was a clear demarcation between you and me, between right and wrong, between okay and not okay, is now in question. For some people, the response to damaging relationships is to build up boundaries that are more solid and protective than ever, so that nothing can harm them again. Other people may give up on the notion of boundaries, including their own values and beliefs. Some people will not know where to start to patch up their boundaries, as their own personal space has been violated so much and so often that they may wonder if they ever had their own autonomy and sovereignty in the first place.
The areas below may be useful to focus on in your everyday life, if you are aware that boundaries are a problem for you – either through being too rigid and restrictive or too loose and formless.
• Explore how to say ‘no’ to others – and mean it
• Recognise the ways in which others attempt to manipulate or coerce you
• Learn how to make decisions based on your own needs
• Exercise self-control
• Step away from a policy of appeasement (if it clearly isn’t working)
• Experiment with ways of being less passive
• Explore ways of sharing power, rather than handing it over to someone else
• Follow through on what you say
• Take responsibility for your own actions
More importantly, what steps might benefit you?