Wellness Calendar: Wednesday 9 April

Games people play
The definition of ‘games’ are episodes or situations whereby one or more persons have a set of tricks or hidden motivations that they use for their own purposes. The pay-off for playing these games can be obvious, but is sometimes hard to spot.
If you spot a game being played (that is either initiated by yourself or by others) then congratulations for noticing, as most people have no awareness of them. Now you have the choice as to whether you participate in the game, or whether you undertake a new role that changes the dynamics of the game altogether.
As we get older and accumulate more life experience, the games become more complicated…
Example of a drama triangle
This is a classic conflict game, which involves power struggles and three well-defined and inter-changeable roles: the rescuer, the victim and the persecutor…
Craig was driving his car along a road when he saw a man screaming and shouting at a woman. Without a second thought, he pulled the car over and went to help. As far as he was concerned he was the rescuer, the woman was the victim and the man was the persecutor. Yet as Craig approached the scene, demanding that the man stop harassing the woman, the roles quickly changed. For both the man and the woman stopped what they were doing and were hostile towards Craig. After a while, Craig gave up trying to be the rescuer and returned to his car feeling like a victim – attacked by two persecutors. Meanwhile, judging by the reaction of the man and woman, they saw themselves as victims to Craig’s persecutor.
Which games are you aware of playing? Can you put a name to a game? Can you identify your role in the game as well as other people’s? Can you say what’s going on in the game? And, finally, can you guess at the pay-off for having played the game, or what the outcome is?
For more information on this, check out Eric Berne’s book Games People Play.