A strange situation

In psychological terms, to have an attachment to someone means having a long-lasting emotional bond with them. Other words linked with attachment are: affection, closeness, devotion, loyalty, love, intimacy.

By researching this area, psychoanalysts John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth came up with a notion that every child needs to have an attachment with someone in order to grow, develop and thrive. Unfortunately, not every child gets this opportunity.

A series of experiments called Strange Situation took place in the 1970s, wherein a child and their parent (or care-giver) entered a room containing toys. A stranger then walked into the room and attempted to engage with the child while the parent left the room, before returning after a short spell. In recording the responses of the many children who participated in the experiment, 3–4 different types of attachments were noted:

1. A child with secure attachments happily played with the toys with the parent present and was also happy to engage with the stranger. However, when the parent left, the child would be upset until reunited. When they were calmed, they would continue their play.

2. Insecure attachments were discovered when a child ignored the parent while they were together in the room, and was seemingly unconcerned when the parent left. The child then ignored them again when they returned.

It didn’t matter if there was someone in the room or if the room was empty: there was no sign of any emotional response from the child. This suggested that no firm bonds had developed in their life to date.

Measuring the heart rate of these children led the researchers to find that while they gave the appearance of being unconcerned by what was happening, the children were in fact anxious and in distress.

3. Ambivalent attachment was found when a child was clearly distressed when their parent left the room, avoided the stranger, and did not play with the toys. When the departed parent returned, the child was conflicted: they wanted to reach out to their parent but at the same time they were angry with them.

4. A fourth classification was later added, known as disorganised attachment. This was seen in children who for brief moments appeared tense, fearful, jerky, frozen, disjointed and at odds with themselves, like they didn’t know what to do next. This was seen as an indication of neglect, abuse or trauma.

Would it be a useful exercise to map out the attachment types of yourself and all the significant people in your life?