Wellness Calendar: Tuesday 8 April

Substitutes for love
If you’re unable to get the relationship(s) that you want (or need), you’re likely to try and make up for that lack by seeking a substitute. For some people, the substitute can work out fine, while for others it can lead to addictions and destructive behaviours.
If love is the ultimate and highest goal to which we can aspire, what happens to us if we can’t get our hands on it? Here are some things that people have been known to use or do as a substitute for love. Some of these examples may be temporary, while some are longer-term. Some may be useful or harmless, whereas others may be harmful to you or to others – or to both.
Drugs (some drugs mimic the sensation of love or falling in love). Loveless (or paid-for) sex. Pornography. Masturbation. Eating. Physical exercise. Gambling. Psychological game-playing. Devotion to work. Seeking power and control. Making money. Becoming politicised. Becoming pregnant/having a baby. Getting a pet. Turning to a god/religion/cult. Isolation. Alcohol. Medication. Putting yourself at risk of harm. Lack of self-care. Victimhood. Self-loathing behaviour. Patriotism. Avoidance of relationships. Shut-down of emotions. Self-harm. Suicide. Hate. Trolling. Anti-social behaviour. Extreme behaviour. Aggressive behaviour. Destruction. Threats. Acts of terror. Verbal abuse. Angry outburst. Violence and torture. Going to war/joining the armed forces. Bigotry. Human trafficking. Using a cause as a cover for hatred. Homophobia. Misogyny. Racism. Coercive and abusive relationships. Rape. Murder.
If you’re aware of having substitutes for love, would it be useful to take the time to address and re-evaluate them?